November 7th, 2010





You who never arrived
in my arms, Beloved, who were lost
from the start,
I don't even know what songs
would please you. I have given up trying
to recognize you in the surging wave of
the next moment. All the immense
images in me -- the far-off, deeply-felt
landscape, cities, towers, and bridges, and
unsuspected turns in the path,
and those powerful lands that were once
pulsing with the life of the gods--
all rise within me to mean
you, who forever elude me.

You, Beloved, who are all
the gardens I have ever gazed at,
longing. An open window
in a country house-- , and you almost
stepped out, pensive, to meet me.
Streets that I chanced upon,--
you had just walked down them and vanished.
And sometimes, in a shop, the mirrors
were still dizzy with your presence and,
startled, gave back my too-sudden image.
Who knows? Perhaps the same
bird echoed through both of us
yesterday, separate, in the evening...

Rainer Maria Rilke

2. But it all makes sense now. :) Maybe, God just wants me to be more prepared pa before we finally meet. Come to think of it, wala pa nga akong sixpack, condo and kotse. Haha.

When we're together na, I promise to be the best boyfriend ever. :D Although I'm sure it won't be easy, I promise to be the cute boyfriend who will hold the umbrella for you and hug you tightly when it's raining. :)

But hun, I also want to be your hot papa. Basta gusto ko when you see me na nakapila sa McDo buying fries, nuggets and coke float for us, maiisip mo, "Ang hot ng boyfriend ko -- in every way possible. I can't imagine being with someone else." Naks. Haha. Tapos lilingon ako sayo at kikindatan ka, like I'm a stranger flirting with you. Haha. And I'll make the girls around you blush with kilig.

I intend to be the guy who will hold your hand when you feel weak. You will never be alone. Walang pwedeng umapi sayo when I'm around, lest they want to deal with a terrifying Ateneo-Tondo combo tackle attack. Haha. :)

I will be your super-pilyo-yet-incredibly-loyal boyfriend and I will sing to you all the love songs I pretend not to like but actually know by heart. :) Kapag may bootie calls sakin, I'll just tell them, "You know what? If you were even a quarter as amazing as my hun, I would have let you give me head." And I'll say it even when you're not listening. :P

And when our friends see us doing things together, I bet maiisip nila tama lang na hinintay natin ang isa't isa. :D

3. You all have no idea how good a boyfriend I intend to be. Kayo lang eh, di nyo ko type. Hahaha. :)